“How can I not lose it with my child?” is the question I get asked most often by the parents I work with in my practice. Learning to become aware of and tend to your triggers is the answer.

When we lose it, we’re triggered and we react by engaging, what I call, our default pattern. Default patterns are when we act not from a place of conscious choosing but rather a habitual reaction to what is happening.

Here’s a typical default pattern in action…

About 6 years ago, I replaced my New Year’s Resolutions with a Word of the Year. To be honest, I had given up long before that on the resolutions. They seemed too all-or-nothing to me. I either succeeded or I failed. Resolutions did not anchor me or motivate me, mostly they shamed and frustrated me.

When I heard about the word of the year, I instantly loved it. One word to anchor me to my intentions throughout the year… Yes!